The pain of this loss wrenches my heart.
So much so, that here I am, still contemplating life and it’s worth.
Pills still in hand, as tears skirt down my cheeks.
I miss my big brother, so full of life and love. I miss his protective nature, how he would always make sure I was taken care of, how he would push me on the swings, how he helped me to ride a bicycle by myself.
Eight years later, I find I can barely function or pull through each day with a smile on my face.
They think I’m happy, that I’ve handled this well.
Inside, I’m numb.